“I was a child who confronted my fears.”
N: How did theatre enter?
T: There were various theatre courses in Ankara. My sister was enrolled for folk dances, I was enrolled for both folk dances and theatre. My process started in community centres. I was leaving the house to go to theatre classes at the community centre. At that age, it was scary to go alone to a neighbourhood on the other side of Ankara, quite far from home.
I was a child who confronted my fears. If I was afraid of something, I was confronting it. If I am afraid of the dark, for example, where is the darkest place? I was going into that darkness and confronting my fears.
N: Are you someone who is constantly looking for proof? Or are you someone trying to prove themselves?
T: Yes, I was until a while ago because where I grew up nobody believed anything unless there was proof.
N: Would you like to elaborate?
T: I noticed this abroad. When I went abroad, I realised that they were less judgmental than us.
N: The people abroad?
T: Of course. Because when you’re abroad you also become that way.
“being confrontationist here is both more difficult and more meaningful than being confrontationist in England.”
N: Does your state change?
T: Of course your state is changing. It is necessary to see the good thing here because with us it takes a lot of effort to do something. Everything does not occur easily with us. Being confrontationist here is both more difficult and more meaningful than being confrontationist in England. Why, because it is easier to be confrontationist abroad.
N: According to what?
T: According to the circumstances because what you call limit is different there, and different here. If being confrontationist is to be limitless, if being confrontationist is to go beyond the limitations, our conditions are a little harsher. We have to accept this, but we need to discover why this is so, and that's when the desire begins to cross that border and the joy of seeing that it can be done.
So Neslihan, can you imagine what happens when I say “I will be a theatre actor” in the neighbourhood that I grew up in?
N: : I can imagine it because I grew up in Bağcılar. When I was eight years old, I said "I'm going to be an actress" and nobody believed me. But I knew that it would be real, that I would make it real and that I would bring it to life.
T: Neslihan, it is so similar to one another... We didn't know anyone in theatre. The only theatre actors I knew were those who I did theatre with in the high school theatre and played together at Özgür Sahne and community centres. I was carrying decor in Özgür Sahne, working as a gaffer, and doing something related to acting in the theatre.
“to work harder, to persevere, to really want it, to give it all the things that leave no other possibility in your life. giving whatever you have. this is the proof! “
N: Did your family know about this situation?
T: They knew, but they were also parents and they were afraid that I would starve, they were afraid that I would go broke, they were afraid that I would waste myself.
A relative of my mother's teacher friend was a student at a conservatory. Rojin. Everyone told me, "You can't enrol if you don't have a contact”. My perception is such that I am trembling. I said, “Rojin, I don't have a contact. What will I do?”. She said, “Neither did I. Do you know what you will do? Everyone is preparing two, then we will prepare ten”. This is the proof! To work harder, to persevere, to really want it, to give it all the things that leave no other possibility in your life. Giving whatever you have. This is the proof!
I left that exam and started to study tirade again as of the evening. I passed the first exam and I didn’t say, "I’ll sit and relax, celebrate this with my friends". I prepared two more sessions for the second exam and got into the conservatory. They said, "You need a contact to not be expelled in the first year of school", and I finished school and was not expelled.
N: So what did you do for it?
T: I worked hard. You need a contact to enrol at the State Theatre, you need a contact to graduate. After a while, I stopped believing in this contact issue. I noticed that the years passed by while I was making fun of this so called “contact” crap, but in the meantime working hard, and I reached this age. I have been an actor at the State Theatre for twenty years.
