…She had experienced so much. Now, before the illuminated backstage mirror that she sat in front of, everything that she’d been through was passing through her mind like a film strip. But she didn't know why she was thinking these things right now. After a while she could go in front of the audience, get her applause, and then go for a drink with her friends. She could forget all these thoughts and continue her life where she left off. But she couldn't… After going through and seeing all these things, she couldn’t behave as if they never happened. She could not ignore or cover up the effects of her experiences on her.

 

She put the shiny pink wig on her head. She put on the big-framed red glasses. Right next to her, a huge stage awaited her where she left the back door of the theatre. She was ready to play her role in this play called life, specially prepared for her. She got up softly from the chair that she was sitting on. She started walking, wearing the flamboyant costume that she had used in her last play, which she would wear for the rest of her life. She opened the black door from the backstage to the foyer. She took firm steps through the empty foyer to the street.

 

She felt relieved when she left the "theatre." A thin drizzle was falling. Pavements, roads and cars were sparkling. There was a deep hope inside of her along with a curious excitement. Everything she needed was right in front of her eyes. High streets, streets, people, houses, shops, trees, animals…

Aysel Gürel came to this life not to say "words", but to be "words". She had found the quickest way of saying what could not be said. She wanted to be the hero of all living women, not an acting hero in a play. She was born in February and married in February. At the age of seventy-nine, she was still trying to be a word when she said goodbye to this life again in February.

halil

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